Driving tips in the land of sweet pineapple


You need lots of energy to endure, lots of patience, a good pair of eyes, protective mask for your nose, an airtight pair of driving glasses, excellent brakes and shock absorbers that can take tons of punishment. Already many cab drivers are complaining their poor shocks made strictly for smooth roads are taking the toll and may soon need a visit to the shop. I guess two-wheeled creatures, like the bicycles and motorcycles, are laughing at their four-wheeled brethren these days. They have been weaving around those bungling four-wheelers in the last few months, and I can almost see their drivers sneering at those consigned to driving the bigger demons-on-wheels.

For those uninformed readers, Ormoc is upgrading its water system and readying itself for high-rise tenements, never mind if the current system needs very little upgrading in the urban areas. A multi-million project is now being implemented by a contractor that keeps on digging those canals (where the pipes are supposed to be buried) and covering them with sand and gravel (sans the water pipe). The pipe laying has to wait. In the meantime, the holes keep getting bigger and deeper, especially since the canals are not properly maintained.

Why the program of work is designed thus is hard to understand. What is evident is the stupidity of it all and the utter lack of concern for public welfare. The government or its agencies, which are supposed to supervise these things, have kept their distance, like they don’t want to get involved in this mess or be blamed for this horrendous state of affairs. A responsive government is supposed to take an active hand in this mess, but as of the moment, it is cold and indifferent to the silent and suffering drivers and commuters here. Or it prefers to look the other way even when the problem is quite apparent.

So in my own little way, I have prepared some driving tips for guys out there who think everything is alright in this land of sweet pineapples.

1. Be sure your shock absorber can take the shocks…unless you want to visit the shop from time to time.
2. Always slow down. The ideal speed is 5 km per hour. Stop right at the canal and let your front wheel slide into the hole as you step into low gear.
3. Use a mask to cover your nose. It’s bad especially if you’re asthmatic.
4. Use airtight protective glasses. The dust particles are so minute that they can be embedded in your eyes.
5. Don’t curse when you go through these obstacles. Your cursing can open your mouth to the circulating dust particles.
6. Always pray for rains because when it comes, the dust problem gets solved. God surely has a simple way of solving complicated problems.
7. If you’re the type who gets sleepy driving at 5 km an hour, let your son (armed with a student driver’s license) take over. He can’t miss the finer points in the road that remain passable.
8. Better still, play a rock tune from the ‘70s. They sound better with all those holes and bumps in our road system.
9. Think one-way. Some parts of the road are now single lanes.
10. Get a dose of tranquilizers or an ice pack before driving. Patience is absolute here. Or check your blood pressure first before venturing into these streets…unless you want to land in the hospital.

These are but a few driving tips I can share with you guys. I’m sure you have a few ideas too.
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